This morning I was reflecting on a decision I needed to make. As I did so, I stopped myself from my default mode of operation and considered what I truly wanted, and what I needed right now. And I made a decision for myself that I know I can be at peace with.
How do you make decisions? Do you trust yourself?
Sometimes trusting yourself can be difficult, especially when you’re not used to doing so. Do you find yourself asking others for their opinions, or deferring to others? Have you learned to turn off your internal guide, perhaps after years of criticism, or love withheld? Have you done what others have told you to do to feel safe?
Even though you've grown into a capable adult and surrounded yourself with people who love and accept you, patterns learned in childhood can repeat themselves across the lifetime. And what you may not realize is that giving your power away can cause anxiety, depression - and even physical illness.
So, how can you tap into yourself – the only one who truly knows you and what you need, and cultivate self-trust?
You need to build the muscle. Connect to your heart magnet and know what is right or wrong for yourself.
1. Take some time to reflect on yourself with compassion. Ask yourself:
In what situations have I looked to others for answers?
What beliefs do I hold about trusting myself?
In what ways have I pushed aside my heart’s desires because of fear?
Who were my role models about trusting one’s self?
When have I trusted my own guidance? What happened?
What is a way I experience my own inner guidance?
Awareness is the starting point to retrain yourself and shift your behaviour.
2. Practice making decisions on your own and face your fears head on. Narrow your authority. Pretend you are alone on a deserted island and avoid contact with others for a few days. If you fear that in trusting yourself you might make a mistake, remind yourself that progress is not perfection and that fear only exists in your mind. Write out and speak aloud some affirmations:
"I have the answers."
"I’ve got this."
"No one knows me better than me."
"I make clear decisions for myself."
"My own counsel is wise."
"The universe supports me on my own path."
3. Make time for yourself every day to ask yourself for guidance. Ignite your own creative ability to solve your own problems. You can do this through a guided meditation practice or simply taking a few quiet minutes to ask the universe a question and listen to the answers it provides. Feel the answer in your body, in your gut, and in your breath.
4. Get guidance from someone outside the situation, like a counselor, coach or mentor. Remember, people close to you speak from their own heart magnet and they may have their own fear-based beliefs.
5. Observe yourself. Notice when you trust yourself and then reward yourself. In doing so you will rebuild your neurons and you will be more likely to repeat – neuroscience says so! It doesn’t hurt to surround yourself with people who are positive, too, and who reinforce your plan to trust yourself.
Opinions need defending. When you connect to your inner guidance, you engage your heart, higher thinking centre and whole being; it just feels right.
The greatest gift is a sense of peace amidst the uncertainties in life. Unfortunately, many people don’t even know what they want. If that’s you, contact me to learn more about my Awaken Your Heart Magnet program. When you do, it will be finally possible to make choices to create a life you love.